Tag Archives: parents

OMG, let’s pamper to fussy eaters….NO

 

Ok, before I start this blog, I better say that this is my opinion.  I do this could it could cause some comments.

 

Why are we becoming a nation that has to pander to every whim!!!!!

The world of fussy eaters, this is just kids who decided that they don’t fancy something or don’t want to try new stuff and it becomes a major drama of fussy eating.

Well!!, on tv today I saw an advert for a milkshake mix called ‘Paedasure’ shake.  This is a milkshake mix containing all the supplements need for healthy growth.

Now I have a MAJOR problem with this, don’t get me wrong, my daughter, like every child went through the fussy eating phase, but with progress she ate just about everything that was put in front of her.  She always ate if she was hungry.

My problem with this shake is:  if you have a child that barely eats anything or is very fussy, you start giving them flavoured milkshake ( as a supplement )  you will never get them to eat.  If I was a fussy child, I would think ‘ I’ll not eat because I will get a milkshake instead’

I do understand that it can be very hard. But perseverance is the key, small and often. kids get hungry and if they are really hungry, they will eat.

( I do know that there can be extremes of fussy eaters) but for general plain pickiness and fussiness , then I don’t agree with this shake mix.

When I was growing up, if I was fussy I didn’t eat.  My parents knew that I would eat eventually because I would be hungry.

There was no way that my parents generation would be fussy eaters, they would be glad of food during ration time and you ate whatever you were given.

I think that we have become a nation  that panders to everything, and I think it needs to stop!!!

 

Age……..

 

Age……..

I have to say that age is never something that really bothered me, I am me age isn’t a factor.

Somedays I feel quite young, I don’t feel my age (45) and then other times, I am reminded of it with a big thumping bang.

I remember when I was young, how old thirty would be and I remember everyone saying that once you get to 21 it all goes downhill. I used to laugh it off……. Oh dear

I was really happy to reach 21, but I didn’t realise just how quick it would really go after that.  I think it seems to go quicker because of all the changes that happen (well to me anyway).  The house buying, marriage, children etc and before you look again you are in your thirties and you start to wonder where did it go.

The next major stage is watching your children grow up, the journey to nursery and on to junior school, which actually takes a while, but you see this child grow up before you very eyes, and then the big move to senior school and how the tiny baby you had has developed into quite a reasonable individual. 

Unfortunately the down side to growing old, is that you start to loose your older relatives. I look back at my wedding album (21yrs) and the picture of my husband and I with our parents and grandparents has changed so much. We no longer have any of the grandparents and only my dad and his mum ( both now re married) are left from the original picture.  I look at my dad now and it is only recently that I have truly realised  he is 73 this year, don’t get me wrong he still travels everywhere (Vegas in May) and still rides his Harley, I could say he is grey but joking aside, he has been grey for as long as I can remember. (More white now), but something he said to me recently, made me think.  My brother will be 48 this year and that is near 50 and it is when I think of that I realise how old my dad is.

As for me, well 46 this year and I don’t think I feel it apart from when  I am suffering with arthritis and pains and then it sinks in that I am not a youngster (not old either, I might add). Also having the onset of pre menapause is making me feel rough some days.

Not sure what has caused me to write the blog, a friend posted on FB saying ‘what had she done with her life’ actually quite a lot, and I wonder if it is a mid life assesment or something ….I don’t know

But …what I do know is that most of the time, I don’t feel my age and that time outweighs the times I feel old. So forward into middle age with all it’s ageing problems.

Anyway I can’t feel my age, because I have to much to do, no time to feel old

 

Onwards and upwards………just a bit slower and creakier. Xx

Mum’s. Just that….

 Me and my mum


 

Well, how to start this…….mum’s ( the strong person who guides us and loves us)

 

My mum was the archetypal strong, hard working, no nonsense type of parent.  She had worked all of her life in the NHS and worked up to the head of her department. ( you did not mess with her).

Mum loved her job and also had a passion for dressmaking (Was good at it).

I always thought we had a good relationship, but my mum was not one to talk to her children about stuff, ( growing up stuff), like boyfriends, sex,contraception ..etc ( you get the jist). I think it was probably a generation thing, parents are more open now.

However, things did not always go to plan, I had a great boyfriend (still married). (Same guy) and my mum approved (I think). We had been going out for a while, got engaged and decided to buy a house and live together ( shock horror ). This was to be the end of our happy relationship. We bought the house and due to move in the April of 1991

My mum was not happy that I was going to live with someone who I was not married to (was engaged) and right up to me moving out she still said, you have time to change. What? ……. You could get married first……

My mum thought it would be less of a stigma to get married and if it didn’t work out to divorce than living in sin with said boyfriend.  We fell out…..big time (I was 23 at the time)

We moved out and were really happy, mum wasn’t , she even wrote letters to me and posted them to my work telling me how I had totally upset the family.  I couldn’t believe it.

Time moved on, we decided to offer an olivebranch, and invited them up near Christmas to see the house. (big mistake)

Wasn’t really interested, just picked faults with the house (our home) BF was in kitchen cooking, not happy.  The visit didn’t do anything to help the feud, just made it worse.

We decided to get married in 1992 really looking forward to telling my mum. We decided to ring all the parents and tell the the good news. I was greeted with…….you know my view, you could have done it before……this really upset me and Mr could tell what had been  said, so he took the phone and told her if that was her view she needn’t bother coming to the wedding. .. No resolve there then….. Soon to be greeted by knock on the door from my dad. (something about slamming the phone down) ( what did they expect)

The wedding was all planned my MIL came with me to choose the dress. Loved it. would have been nice for my mum to make me one or shop for one, was never going to happen! And I Am sure there was a comment about, “wasn’t the type of dress I expected” on my wedding day.  Omg

All the arrangements for the day were sorted, my bridesmaids were coming with me in the car. She even tried to change that the day before the wedding.

Sorry waffling a bit…….back on track

My mum was the sort of person who ignored everyone else’s way, because hers was the right way and the only way.

Always remember when I went to get my hair cut short, my mum said how “short will your hair be” ( I was in my mid 20s). Lol

We occasionally visited, (only us to them, never the other way) still got on with my dad, it was always very odd with my mum from then onwards, we never regained any good relationship afterwards.

My mum worked all her life and she did work hard, very hard. She would never have a day off ill, she was never ill. ( too strong willed).

It was in 1995, I remember visiting on my own (Mr never came with me) and my mum was of sick with a cold,  off her food type of thing (so we thought). This was the Tuesday, if memory serves correctly.  Little did I know it would be the last time I would see her alive.

I was 27 yrs old, it was the Saturday morning and I had gone off to dance, I had told Mr that I would get chips for dinner on the way home, so I did. I pulled up at home at Mr was waiting outside the house. As soon as I got out the car he’s said my dad had called, mum had died!!!!!!!!

We jumped in the car and headed straight over and yes she had passed away suddenly. 

I was totally dumbstruck, nothing, didn’t know how i felt (shock ) this was not the end!!!

She was 53 , they did a PM to find out exactly what had happened, because as far as we knew, she was not ill.

We had a family meeting, (dad, me and brother) later on in the week to finally discover the truth. ( wish I hadn’t)

It turns out she passed from a blood clot, but unbeknownst to us she had breast cancer (for quite a while as well)

We didn’t know ( my dad suspected but didn’t know) . How was I to deal with this bombshell. She worked for the NHS, she could have had great care and possible cured or at least lived for a while longer, but no, nothing. Did nothing about it.

How could she not tell us or my dad……bemused

So on top of losing my mum, I had to suddenly deal with the fact of the big ‘C’ in the family

I was suddenly filled with emotions I didn’t understand, I was angry, upset and actually pissed off that she couldn’t and didn’t do anything. Apparently she had seen family members deteroriate with this disease and didn’t want to put us through that.

I STILL WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE KNOWN

Years passed by, I got pregnant, and had a little little girl and with this came pent up emotions and anger again.  Maybe just maybe if something had been done, she might have met her grandchild.

I always vowed that I would be open and honest to my family and I am.

Mum, I know you were a very opinionated, strong independant woman, but with being so closed minded, you missed so much.

Mum, I did love you but can never forgive you, for what you did, it was like you didn’t think we could cope or that we would make you do something you didn’t want to do. We did love you but you only thought of yourself in that situation. And not of what you would leave behind.

Even 18yrs down the line, still hard. On mothers day and birthdays, everyone posting, happy whatever day and if they lost their mums, how much they think of them and miss them and I can’t…..just can’t do it.

I do take flowers to the crem at Christmas, but can’t write a sloppy card, just not our sort of relationship.

Sometimes I do wonder if she had the chance again, would she do it differently. I think not.

My mum was like a high speed train getting from A to B and not letting anything distract her or get in her way, or slow her down.

 

Don’t judge me for my feelings, you weren’t there and didn’t go through it.  I know I probably sound heartless but that is just the way it is.

There are lots of fabulous mums out their, treasure them, love them and miss them when they are gone.

I feel sorry for my mum, because of what she has missed out on. Maybe it could have been different, we shall never know.

I have a great life , great family and I have a fabulous relationship with my dad  (remarried) ( always was a dads girl) still am, even at my age……

 

Xxxx